Chapter Twenty Seven is Getting Very Near the End

Friday, June Seventeenth, right around an hour before lunch, Walli-Wo island time

After breakfast, Alex and Bruce had accompanied King Lemmy on the search for King Lemmy’s great great grandfather.  The three of them, along with the other islanders who were assisting with the search, found themselves in quite a hurry because the storm the sailors had been running from was due to hit Walli-Wo at some point that day.  There were dark clouds on the horizon, getting closer and closer.

One of the questions Alex had for Bruce as they searched was, “How long until we can get off of this island?”

The answer was, “Once the storm has passed Walli-Wo, we should be clear to fly, as long as the storm doesn’t change direction.  We’ll want to leave either very early in the morning, or very late at night.”

“Why’s that?” Alex had asked.

“Because that’s when the weather will be the most calm, and also, that timing will give us the best chance for getting back to the U.S.A. during daylight hours,” Bruce said.

Thinking about Princess Lulu’s appetites made Alex hope they would be able to leave at night, rather than wait until the following morning.  And it would be just super if they could leave that night.

Alex, Bruce, and King Lemmy started their search over after breakfast, beginning in front of King Lemmy’s house.  Alex hoped that some of the wreckage from the broken door, or the broken glass from the interior sliding door that had been shattered, would have been dragged away from the house.  That would have at least given them a direction to start looking.

Unfortunately, they’d had no such luck.  Alex had gotten down on the ground, looking for a trail where the statute had been dragged (like it had been through the broken glass), with no luck.  It would seem that whoever had taken it had found the strength to carry the statue once they were outside.  Or they’d done a really good job of covering their tracks.

Either way, they were low on ideas for where to start the search. Since they didn’t have any better ideas, they started the search by moving in concentric circles around King Lemmy’s house, expanding the circle a little bit each time.

The three of them were walking side by side along the Walli-Wo coast, searching for the statue, when the wind started to pick up.  Alex and King Lemmy looked up from the ground at the same moment.  The sky was quickly turning nearly black, and the clouds were very low.

“You know,” Alex said.

“I think,” Bruce said.

“It would be an excellent time for us to get to shelter,” King Lemmy said.

All three of them hurried back to King Lemmy’s house. 

“Is your house really the best place to wait out the storm?” Alex said.  “You’ve got a broken interior courtyard door, and a broken exterior door.  It might be just a touch windy in there.”

“My home does have more than two doors, Alex,” King Lemmy said.  “It also has a storm shelter.  It’s very cozy and safe.”

Alex wasn’t exactly sure how to reply, so he just followed along quietly. 

The wind started to really whip across the island, and the few people they saw still outside were all hurrying for shelter.

“Where are all the other islanders going to go for shelter?” Alex said.  With the next gust of wind, he narrowly avoided catching a flying branch in the face.

“To their own storm shelters,” King Lemmy said.  “Of course we would prefer to all shelter together in the great hall, but we also run an international bank.  Should something unthinkable happen, it’s best if all of the key players are in different places.  It would not be good if the majority of our economy was wiped out by a tree falling on the wrong building.”

“It’s good to have a contingency plan,” Alex said.

The sky opened, and huge, fat rain drops came pouring down on to them as they hustled towards King Lemmy’s house.

There was a brilliant flash of lightning, and thunder crashed almost immediately.

Cool! Alex thought.

They reached King Lemmy’s house and hurried inside.  They were already soaked all the way through, but at least they’d be safe from the wind and anything that happened to start flying through the air.

King Lemmy led Alex and Bruce through his house.  Alex had the weirdest feeling that he was being watched as they approached and passed the windows looking out on the courtyard.  Of course, that was impossible.  No one would be foolish enough to stay out in the storm, and what’s more, security had been beefed up around King Lemmy’s home since the doors had been smashed.  Sneaking into the courtyard would be quite a feat.

In one of the interior rooms (Alex guessed it wasn’t used much.  The furniture was showroom pristine, and it just felt kind of stuffy.  It didn’t seem like a place where King Lemmy would willingly spend much time.), King Lemmy grabbed a table lamp, and pulled it firmly towards himself.

A trapdoor in the floor, covered by a rug, popped open.  Through the door was a staircase leading down to, Alex assumed, King Lemmy’s storm shelter.  King Lemmy gestured to Alex and Bruce to go ahead of him.  He followed close behind the two of them, and pulled the trapdoor shut again behind himself.

At the bottom of the staircase, there was a well-lit, marble-lined hallway leading them further towards the interior of the house.  Alex wondered what part of the house the storm shelter was under, exactly.

Alex would have guessed that a “storm shelter” would be something like a basement room with no windows and a good supply of beef jerky and maybe some blankets and candles.  He was surprised when he walked through the door to the shelter itself.

King Lemmy’s storm shelter was more like a second home, underground.   The room they were currently standing in was furnished every bit as nicely as the rest of King Lemmy’s house.  There was art on the walls, and a plush carpet.  There were also doors leading to what Alex guessed were other rooms in the shelter.

“Come in and get comfortable,” King Lemmy said.  “We have everything we need down here to wait out the most powerful hurricanes.  We could stay down here for a month, easily, if we needed to.  Two months, less easily.”

“Less easily?” Alex said.

King Lemmy grimaced and said, “We would have to get into the freeze dried food, and Spam.”

“I thought folks out here on the pacific islands love Spam.  I could have sworn I’d heard it’s like a comfort food,” Bruce said.

King Lemmy looked skeptical.  “I do not think anyone, anywhere, ever, has been comforted by Spam.  But, if you say it is so, then maybe there are such places.  Come, let me show you where you’ll be spending the night.  We should be able to get you into some dry clothes too.”

He led them through the room they were in, past a well-equipped kitchen, and into a large bedroom with two queen beds.

“I’m sorry I can not provide you with private quarters here in my shelter.  My daughter will be in one of the other rooms, and of course she needs her privacy,” King Lemmy said.

Almost as soon as he’d mentioned her, Lulu came into the room.  She made a quick kissy face at Alex while King Lemmy wasn’t looking, and winked again.

Uh oh, Alex thought.  Well, at least I’ve got Bruce here to keep her on her best behavior while we’re all down here.

Lulu brushed past Alex and Bruce, and opened a door that was just behind them.  It was a closet, and it looked as though it was full of sweatpants and sweatshirts. 

She turned back and said, “These should be much more comfortable than the damp clothes you’re wearing right now.”

As she passed Alex again, she pinched his butt.  He was shocked, but did his best to pretend that he hadn’t even noticed.  He didn’t want to encourage her.

I hope the bedroom door has a lock, otherwise it’s going to be a long night, Alex thought.

“Say, has anyone seen Harry lately?” Alex said.  “Where is he?”

“No, the last time I saw him was at breakfast,” King Lemmy said.  “He is a smart man and will have taken shelter as well, however.”

“Does he have his own house?” Alex said.

“Of course,” King Lemmy said.  “Why wouldn’t he?”

“I assumed he lived here with you,” Alex said.

King Lemmy laughed, and said, “Even Harry needs to take a break sometimes, Alex.”

“Anyway,” King Lemmy continued, “Please get into some dry, comfortable clothes, and make yourselves at home.  We have everything you could possibly ask for down here, so if you need something, just ask.”

“Just ask,” Lulu echoed, and gave Alex another wink.

King Lemmy and Lulu left the room.  Alex waited a moment, then walked over and shut the door behind them.  He was completely thrilled to see that the door did, in fact, have a lock.  That was probably going to save his hide.

“So, Bruce,” Alex said.  “I’m going to need you to not leave my sight for the rest of the time we’re down here.  Otherwise, I think Lulu is going to get me into a whole lot of trouble that I don’t want.”

“O.K.,” Bruce said.  “It doesn’t seem like that’s going to be difficult for me to do, since we’re here in a storm shelter, but you’ve got it.”

“Thanks,” Alex said.

Bruce was about to ask Alex what kind of trouble he thought Lulu was going to cause, when there was a knock at the door.

Alex went back over to the door and opened it.  He found himself nearly toe to toe with Lulu.

“I thought you might want this,” she said, and stuffed something soft into his hands, then kissed him full on the lips before he even knew she was going to.  Then she giggled and walked away from the door again.  She swayed her hips seductively for several steps, then looked back at Alex and winked again before she went into a different room and out of sight.

Alex shook his head, and then looked down to see what it was that Lulu had thought he might want.

He discovered he was holding a big bundle of pink fleece.  She’d brought him the bunny suit.

Chapter Twenty Six Rocks All Night and Sleeps All Day

Friday, June Seventeenth, fifty minutes or so before the breakfast feast, Walli-Wo island time

Alex had his hands full trying to keep Princess Frisky out of his pants, while making sure she didn’t feel like he was rejecting her.  He had heard that scorned women can be, well, troublesome.  And based on the exchange he’d just seen between Lulu and Gertrude, Alex suspected it was for the best to keep Lulu happy while he was still on Walli-Wo.

It was a tricky situation.

It was especially difficult because Lulu had a quick solution to every roadblock Alex tried to put between her and the fly of his pants.

For example, he’d said, “What would your father say if he found us together in here?”

Lulu said, “He would say that we would be much more comfortable in my room.  Which, incidentally, we would be.  Shall we wander that way for a bit?”

He also tried, “It’s so early, shouldn’t we get some more sleep?”

Lulu’s reply was, “We can catch up on sleep later.”

Alex was quickly running out of excuses.  It didn’t help matters that he was doing his best to not have sex with a woman that he, in basically any other situation, would very much want to have sex with.  Only half of his brain, at best, was willing to help him out with this particular dilemma.  The other half had apparently decided that if Alex wanted to be that stupid, then he was on his own.

He was getting to the point where he was afraid he was going to have to be rude in order to get Lulu out of his bed when they heard the doorknob rattle again.  It was significantly louder this time, as though someone was trying urgently to get in to the room.  It was enough that Lulu rolled off of Alex with an irritated sigh, and covered herself up.

They heard Gertrude stage-whisper, “Princess Lulu, your father is coming!”

Alex wasn’t sure how his heart could drop into his feet when he was laying down (the physics of it made no sense), but all the same, that’s exactly where his heart went.

“Shit!” Lulu said.  She slid the rest of the way off of Alex’s bed, grabbed her dress from where she had apparently left it on the floor, and ran naked to the side door where Gertrude was waiting.  She turned, blew Alex a kiss and winked, and then left his room with Lulu.  Gertrude closed the door behind them, and he heard the two of them hurrying away from his door.  Alex had no idea where they would be able to go in order to avoid being spotted by King Lemmy if he was close to Alex’s bedroom.

Alex took a deep breath, and slowly exhaled. 

Thank god for small favors, he thought.  I’ve never been happier to be interrupted.

He got out of bed, and tried to quickly tidy himself up a bit.  He poured himself some coffee from the carafe that Gertrude had brought in earlier, and did his best to adopt a casual and relaxed demeanor as he waited for King Lemmy to arrive.

He waited for several anxious minutes and finally started to wonder where the heck King Lemmy was, exactly.  He hoped that King Lemmy hadn’t spotted Lulu leaving Alex’s room, and gone off to assemble a mob, or something along those lines.

It occurred to him that it was going to be time for breakfast soon.  Assuming that he wasn’t about to be lynched, he was going to need to actually look presentable.  So, Alex set about getting himself cleaned up.

King Lemmy never did come to his room.

Gertrude, however, did come to his room.  It was about ten minutes before the usual time for breakfast.

She saw that he was up, smiled, and said, “Good morning, Mr. Minor.”

“Good morning, Gertrude,” Alex said.

“Did you sleep well, Mr. Minor?” Gertrude said.

Alex wasn’t exactly sure what the right answer to that question was.  She had, after all, walked in on him and a very naked princess not too long ago.

“Reasonably well, thank you,” Alex said.

There was a moment’s silence between them, and then Alex said, “Where did King Lemmy get to?  I thought he was coming this way.”

Gertrude giggled, and said, “He wasn’t.  I hope you will forgive me, but I was listening at the door, and I thought you might need an excuse.”

Alex laughed, quietly, and said, “Nicely done, Gertrude.”

“Thank you, Mr. Minor,” Gertrude said.

“So, where exactly did you and Lulu go?” Alex said.

“There is a secret tunnel between here and King Lemmy’s house.  Princess Lulu also lives there, and also knows that tunnel.  I brought her down to the tunnel, the back way,” Gertrude said.

“But wouldn’t King Lemmy have been coming that way?” Alex said.

“Of course not,” Gertrude said.  “Secret tunnels don’t stay secret if you use them all the time.”

“Ah, of course,” Alex said.

Gertrude glanced at the window, and the brightening sky.

“It must be time for the morning feast,” she said.  “I expect Harry will be along to escort you and Mr. Evans to the great hall shortly.”

With that, Gertrude turned and left Alex’s bedroom again.  Mere moments later, there was a knock at the main door to his room.  Alex opened it, and found Harry waiting for him.

“Good morning, Mr. Minor,” Harry said. 

Bruce came out of his room, seconds later, looking a little worse for wear.

“Good morning, Mr. Evans,” Harry said.

“Morning,” Bruce said.

“Come with me, gentlemen,” Harry said.

Alex couldn’t put his finger on it, but Harry seemed a little more standoffish that he had previously. 

Maybe he’s hungover too, Alex thought.

“How are you feeling this morning?” Alex said to Bruce as they followed Harry to the great hall.

“Pretty rough, I had a rude awakening this morning,” Bruce said.  “I’m still shaking the water out of my ears.”

“Water?” Alex said.

“Yeah, someone threw a bucket of water on me while I was still asleep, then threw the bucket at me,” Bruce said.

“Ouch!  Jeez, that’s not cool.  Are you alright?” Alex said.

“Yeah.  At least the bucket missed me.  It just hit my nightstand and knocked over a lamp,” Bruce said.

“Are you a heavy sleeper, or something?  That seems pretty extreme,” Alex said.

“Nope.  Usually I wake up the second someone opens a door near me,” Bruce said.

“Oof,” Alex said.

They reached the great hall, and went inside.  The first thing Alex noticed was that the great hall was unusually quiet.  The second thing he noticed was that everyone was there already.  The third thing that he noticed was that “everyone” didn’t include the sailors.  He figured they were probably still asleep, and that was, frankly, a relief.

He and Bruce went to their previous seats near King Lemmy.  Alex was more than a little surprised when one of the islanders hissed at them as they walked past.

“Weren’t these folks all super friendly the day before?  Did we act up at the feast last night or something?” Alex said, quietly, to Bruce.

“They were, and no, I don’t think so, Mr. Minor.  You had more to drink than me, and you were fine while you were still in the hall,” Bruce said.

“OK, that’s what I thought,” Alex said.

King Lemmy acknowledged Alex and Bruce, and gestured for everyone to eat.  There was a slight increase in sound in the room, but there was no conversation to speak of.  It was more than a little unsettling.

“Has anything new come to light about your great great grandfather, King Lemmy?” Alex said.

“No, Alex.  We will begin the search anew this morning, after we’ve eaten,” King Lemmy said.

Alex happened to look across the table, and saw Lulu staring at him.  She gave him a coy smile, and then a salacious wink.  It was so quick that Alex had to convince himself that he really did see it. He smiled at her in return.

We need to get off this island before I end up neck deep in a heap of shit, Alex thought.  He did his best to remain pleasant and casual, but the urge to grab Bruce and run for the Cessna was getting stronger by the minute.

“It seems very quiet in here this morning,” Alex said. 

King Lemmy sighed, and said, “My people have come to believe that this trouble was brought about either by you or the sailors who also arrived shortly after you.”

“Oh,” Alex said.  “Um.  Is there anything we can do?”

“You are already doing it,” King Lemmy said.  “I have told my people that you and Bruce could not be responsible, and they have taken my word.  There is little I can say to convince them that the sailors are also innocent.  And, of course, how can I know?  I have been spending my time largely with you, and Bruce.”

“Thank you, King Lemmy,” Alex said.  He thought for a moment, and then said, “Where are the sailors, by the way?  They don’t seem to be here this morning.”

King Lemmy looked troubled, and said, “I visited them this morning, and asked to board their boats to see if my great great grandfather was in one of them.  They were not cooperative.  I then asked them if I could look in their quarters to see if he was in there, but again, they would not cooperate.”

Alex started to get a bad feeling in his gut, but he remained silent.

King Lemmy continued, “I told them that I did not think they had done anything wrong, but that my people were convinced they were responsible, and that for their own safety they should remain in their quarters until my great great grandfather is found, or until the weather has changed and they can safely sail immediately.”

“You don’t think they had anything to do with it?” Alex said.

“No,” King Lemmy said.

“I hope you understand that I don’t doubt you,” Alex said. He continued, “But how do you know?”

King Lemmy looked levelly at Alex.

“I know, Alex, because my great great great grandfather told me that the horrible loud visitors were not the ones who did it,” King Lemmy said.

Alex smiled and said, “The horrible loud visitors?”

King Lemmy smiled, ever so slightly, and said, “My great great great grandfather does not care much for the sailors.”

Chapter Twenty Five Just Makes Sense

Friday, June Seventeenth, a couple of hours before the breakfast feast, Walli-Wo island time

After King Lemmy and Alex had satisfied themselves that King Lemmy’s great great grandfather, or at least the stone statue which his spirit was currently calling home, was no longer in King Lemmy’s house, they’d decided to see if they could track him down.  After several fruitless hours, the two of them had agreed that it was too dark outside to see clearly, and that they would resume the search the following morning.

Alex had found his way back to his room, and collapsed into bed, still wearing his dress blues.  He had, at least, managed to kick off his bunny slippers.  He wondered, just before he fell asleep, how or why he’d been able to think so clearly right after King Lemmy had announced that his great great grandfather had been kidnapped.  After all, he’d been pretty tanked.

And what’s more, it seemed like the drunkenness was making up for lost time now.  The room seemed to spin a bit, and then he slept.

He woke up several hours later feeling… strangely cuddly.  In his grogginess, he couldn’t quite figure out why that was, and just enjoyed the feeling for a couple of minutes.  Slowly, he gained a bit more consciousness, and put together a piece of information here and a piece of information there.

It seemed like the sun was rising.  It was at least starting to get light outside.  Alex realized his bedroom window must face East.  He remembered he was on a little island called Walli-Wo.

And, he realized very suddenly, there was a naked woman asleep in bed with him.  She was cuddled up tightly against him with her head on his chest.

Oh shit, Alex thought.  Who is this, and how did she get in here?  Did I black out and bring someone back here?

As discretely as he could manage, Alex touched his stomach, and then his leg.  He was still wearing his dress blues.  Just in case, he checked his fly as well.  All was in order there.

“What the hell?” Alex said, then realized that he hadn’t meant to say that out loud.  Oops…

The woman sleeping on him stirred slightly, and sighed, then sat up next to him.

Alex quickly became aware of two things.  First, she was staggeringly beautiful.  And second, she was, without a doubt, King Lemmy’s daughter.

A third fact popped into Alex’s head.  Somehow, he still didn’t actually know her name.  He tried and tried to remember if King Lemmy had mentioned it, but he forgot what it was he was trying to remember when she lifted both arms over her head and stretched, arching her back slightly.

She looked down at him, and smiled.

“Hi,” Alex said.

“Good morning, Alex,” she said.

“How did you get in here?” Alex said.

“Through the door,” she said.  “I hope you don’t mind.”

“Well, no…  I mean, I don’t mind, but did I bring you back here last night?” Alex said.

“No, I just got a bit chilly and thought I’d come in here with you rather than stay in my own room,” she said.

Alex had no idea how to reply to that.  The best he could come up with was a bewildered, “Is your room in this house too?”

“Of course not, silly bunny man,” she said.

“Right, of course not,” Alex said.  He finally realized there was no way for him to gracefully continue this conversation.

“So,” Alex said. “Um, please forgive me, but I don’t think we’ve been introduced previously.”

She gave him a devilish smile, and said, “I know.  I avoided father while he was introducing you to everyone else on the island.”

Well, that explains it, Alex thought.  He wasn’t sure if he would have managed to remember her name after more than one hundred other introductions, anyway.

She continued, “I assumed you wouldn’t be able to remember my name if I was just one more introduction after every other person on Walli-Wo.  I thought it might be easier for you to recall my name if I introduced myself this way.”

She’s got a point, Alex thought.

“OK, well, hi,” Alex said.  “I’m Alex Minor. You can call me Alex.”

“I know, and I already did,” she said. “And my name is Princess Carol Anne Maria Felicia Autumn Lemmy.”

“I’m glad to meet you, Princess Carol Anne, uh…” Alex said.

Princess Carol Anne Maria Felicia Autumn Lemmy winked at him, and said, “You can just call me Lulu.  Everyone does.”

“OK, it’s nice to meet you Princess Lulu,” Alex said.

She giggled and Alex wondered once again if marrying her and becoming the king to her queen would be all that bad.

“Just Lulu,” she said.  “I’m naked in your bed, I don’t think we need to stand on formalities.”

Alex had no idea how to reply and said, “Um, no, I suppose not.”

“Can we make love now?” Lulu said.

“What?” Alex said.

“Father has already told me he blesses our future wedding.  And I’m feeling kind of eager, get out of this silly uniform” Lulu said.

“Whoa, whoa,” Alex said.  “Sorry, I need a second.”

“Oh, do you want to keep your uniform on while we make love?  I don’t mind,” Lulu said, and smiled.

“No, that’s not it.  I don’t think you understand,” Alex said.

Lulu raised an eyebrow, and said, “Oh.  Oh, I see.  Do you want to wear the bunny suit?  I’m OK with that too.  I like to play.”

“This is just not coming out right,” Alex said to himself.

“No?  Ooooh, you want me to wear the bunny suit.  OK, I like that too…” Lulu said.

Alex just stared at her for a second.  She was already starting to get out of bed, presumably to put the bunny suit on.

“No, wait please, uh, Lulu,” Alex said.

She turned back to him.  He was really having a hard time coming up with whatever it was he wanted to say.

“You see, the thing is, um,” Alex said.

Lulu looked puzzled for a moment, and then her face cleared.

“Oh, of course, how silly of me to not understand,” Lulu said with complete confidence.

“Really?” Alex said, considerably less confident.

“You prefer to be more traditional and wait until the wedding,” Lulu said.

“Um,” Alex said.

“It’s OK.  The anticipation will make the wait fun for both of us.  And after we get married, we can unleash our passion and have our way with each other,” Lulu said.  She had gestured wildly as she said “unleash” and “passion” and it took a second for Alex to get his breath back. 

“I’m not sure you,” Alex started to say, but was interrupted.

“Oh yes, I understand completely.  Such a romantic you are,” Lulu said.  She winked at him.

She curled back up under the covers with him.

How are things going so horribly right for me?  Alex wondered.

“You must still be sleepy,” Lulu said.  “You had a lot to drink, and a long night last night.”

“Mm, yes,” Alex said.  “Say, what do you call those drinks we had last night, by the way?”

“Drinks you had.  I stuck with fruit juice,” Lulu said.  “Anyway, they are a very traditional drink here on Walli-Wo.  The short name for them is Ki.  I don’t think you’ll remember the long name.  No one uses it, anyway.”

“Ki?” Alex said.

“Yes.  In English, I think they’d be called Fruit Flavored Pain Killer,” Lulu said.

“Sounds about right,” Alex said.

Lulu giggled.

Just then, they heard a doorknob rattle slightly, and Gertrude crept into the room with a tray covered with fruit and glasses of juice.  It also looked like she had a small pot of coffee or tea on the tray.  She walked past the bed, glanced over at Alex and Lulu and took a couple more steps before she stopped dead in her tracks and stared at the two of them.

Alex thought, oh shit.  I’m going to get lynched for spoiling the king’s daughter. And I didn’t even spoil her.

“Uh,” Gertrude said.

Lulu didn’t waste a second.

Quickly, but sweetly, she said, “Gertrude, what did you see in Alex’s bedroom this morning?”

“Um.  Nothing, Princess Lulu.  Mr. Minor asleep in his bed.  By himself,” Gertrude stammered.

“That’s right,” Lulu said.  “And who do you need to tell that you saw Alex asleep, by himself, in his own bed, as anyone would expect him to be?”

“Um, No one.  No one at all,” Gertrude said.

“And, Gertrude, what would happen if somehow the other islanders got the impression that Alex had not been alone in his bedroom this morning?” Princess Lulu said.

Gertrude looked nervous.

“Gertrude?” Lulu said.

“I don’t think I’d like that very much,” Gertrude said.

“I don’t think I’d like it very much either,” Lulu said.  “So it’s a good thing for us that Alex was quietly asleep, and alone, when you came in this morning, isn’t it?”

“Yes, Princess Lulu,” Gertrude said.

“Thank you, Gertrude.  Your discretion is one of your many excellent qualities, and why you’re one of my closest friends,” Lulu said.

“Thank you, Princess Lulu,” Gertrude said. 

She set down the tray she’d brought in, and hurried out of the room again, closing the door quietly behind her.

“Whoa,” Alex said.  He wasn’t sure what exactly he’d just seen, but he did know that now he felt kind of bad for Gertrude for walking in when she did.

“Silly girl,” Lulu said.  “Don’t worry, I know she’s actually very discrete.”

“OK, cool,” Alex said.  “So, what would happen to her if she mentioned you were in here with me, incidentally?”

Lulu smiled, and said, “She would have to work as the first level customer service rep on the phones for the bank, instead of doing the cushy job she has now.”

“Oof, that’s pretty rough,” Alex said.

“But not inhumane,” Lulu said. 

Alex thought that was debatable but said nothing.

Lulu looked out the window at the brightening morning sky.  She turned back to Alex, gave him a wicked grin, and said, “It looks like we still have at least an hour until it is time for the morning feast.  Let’s fool around a little, honey bunny.”

Uh oh, Alex thought. 

Chapter Twenty Four is Oh So Nice

Thursday, June Sixteenth, just after the evening feast, which ended a little early, because everyone skipped dessert, Walli-Wo island time

Shortly after King Lemmy had announced that his great great grandfather had been kidnapped, he’d gotten up from the table and left the great hall.  Alex and Harry followed after him as he hurried away.

“King Lemmy, please wait!” Alex said.

“I do not have time to wait, I must try to find my great great grandfather,” King Lemmy said.

“Well, he couldn’t have gone too far yet,” Alex said.  “Wait for us!”

King Lemmy paused for a second, and said, “That is why I’m hurrying.”

“Well, hang on a second so we can help you,” Alex said.

That slowed King Lemmy down a moment longer, and Alex and Harry were able to catch up to him.

At the moment, they were about halfway between the great hall and King Lemmy’s home.  King Lemmy looked around himself, scanning the area for anything that seemed out of place.

“What can we do to help?” Alex said.  “Do you want us to come with you and help search?  Should we split up?  We’ll probably be able to cover more ground that way.”

King Lemmy looked at Alex and said, “You are a good friend.  And, you are the expert at finding things that have been lost.  What do you think we should do?”

Alex wasn’t sure he was really all that good at finding things that were lost.  Really, he was more of an expert and going and getting things back from where they weren’t supposed to be.  In other words, he was a repo man, not a detective.  However, he wanted to help King Lemmy, so he paused for a minute and thought about what would be the best way to track down the statue.  He was glad the island wasn’t bigger.

“Can we be sure that he’s still on the island?” Alex said.  “I mean, if someone arrived or left, we’d know about it, wouldn’t we?”

“Yes, we have lookouts watching the perimeter of the island.  They would have seen anyone arriving or leaving by sea.  And you know we would have heard any aircraft that arrived or left,” King Lemmy said.

“Is there a way we can check in with the lookouts to see if they’ve noticed anything?” Alex said.

“Of course.  They have walkie talkies,” King Lemmy said.

“Do you think we should ask them before we search the island?  We can also warn them to keep an even closer watch,” Alex said.

“Yes, that is a good idea,” King Lemmy said.  He turned to Harry, and said, “Please go check in with the watch, and tell them to be alert to anyone leaving Walli-Wo.”

Harry nodded, and walked off at a brisk pace.

“OK, Alex, now what do you think we should do?” King Lemmy said.

“Well, should we go look at your house and see if we can find anything out of place there?  Would someone have to break in to your house to get to the courtyard?” Alex said.

“I do not typically keep my home locked,” King Lemmy said.  “However, with all of the unknown visitors we have had today, I decided to lock the doors.  Just in case they accidentally tried to explore my home again.”

“OK, maybe there will be something there that will give us an idea of what happened, and where we can look next” Alex said.

King Lemmy nodded and said, “Yes, let’s do that.”

When they arrived at the house, both of them were astonished to find King Lemmy’s front door laying on the ground about fifteen feet away from the house.  One of the hinges was still attached to it. The door’s frame was splintered and blown out of the house as well.

“Whoa,” Alex said.

King Lemmy remained silent, looking back and forth from the door to the front of the house.

“Say, did your door open in to the house, or out?” Alex said.

“In,” King Lemmy said.

“Wow,” Alex said.  “Was there an explosion inside?”

King Lemmy said nothing, and instead started walked towards the house again.

Alex followed behind.  The two of them walked through the hole where the front door had been.  Alex was honestly expecting to find more wreckage just inside the door, but apart from some dust and wood splinters from the door frame, everything seemed to be exactly the way it had been the last time he’d been in there.

“I guess that there wasn’t an explosion, then,” Alex said.  “That’s good.”

As they went further inside, the rest of the house seemed basically undisturbed, apart from a lamp that had been knocked over.  And then there was the broken glass from the sliding door that led out into the inner courtyard.  Alex was more than a little puzzled by that mess.

For one thing, the glass had all fallen in to the house.  Whatever had force had broken it had come from the courtyard side, pushing in on the glass.  So, so far it sure seemed like someone had broken out of King Lemmy’s house, rather than breaking in.

For another thing, there was a trail, about a foot or so wide, where the broken glass had been pushed aside, right through the middle of the scattered glass on the floor.

Alex said, “Did someone drag your great great grandfather out of here?”

Simultaneously, King Lemmy said, “Did my great great grandfather walk out of there?”

Both of them then looked at each other and said “Wait, what?”

From behind them, Harry said, “The watch have not seen anyone leaving Walli-Wo tonight.  They will be alert to anyone who does, and let us know right away.”

Alex started, and muttered, “Jesus, Harry.”

King Lemmy said, “Thank you Harry.  What do you make of this mess?”

Harry looked down at the trail through the glass and then looked up at King Lemmy, wide – eyed. 

“Do you think he walked through it?” Harry said.

Alex had certainly encountered a few weird things during the course of his career, but he was reasonably certain that the statue he’d brought back here was not able to walk on its own.  However, he had just enough diplomatic sense to know that telling King Lemmy that statues can’t do that would be a mistake.

So instead, he said, “You don’t think he was just dragged off?  I thought he’d been kidnapped.”

King Lemmy and Harry looked at each other, and then back at Alex.  Harry’s expression was one that said “I can’t believe you can be that ignorant.”  King Lemmy’s was more sympathetic.

“Alex,” King Lemmy said, “I must explain this to you.  You see, when I said that my ancestors look over me and protect me, I meant that truly and literally.  My ancestors live in the homes that were made for them, and they will act when needed.”

Alex wasn’t exactly sure what he could say to that.  He thought it was a sweet concept, but he was also fairly certain that the statues were not, by any stretch of the imagination, sentient and capable of action.  He also knew that he should probably keep that to himself.

Especially because it would be extremely embarrassing if he was proven wrong.  He didn’t think he was, but then, he’d been surprised before…

“OK,” Alex said.  “I’m confused though, how could your great great grandfather have ended up in the United States, if he didn’t want to go there?”

“He is still living in a heavy stone statue,” King Lemmy said.  “Taking any kind of action requires a great deal of energy.  He knew we would find him, so he waited and rested.”

“Did he try to resist?” Alex said.

“Of course,” King Lemmy said.  “but again, like us, he only has so much energy before he’s exhausted.  Whoever took him the first time just wore him down until he couldn’t fight back any longer.”

“OK, I guess that makes sense,” Alex said.  Privately, he thought it was impossible.  “How do you know all this?”

“He told me,” King Lemmy said.

“OK,” Alex said.  There was no possible way to contradict that without calling King Lemmy crazy, so Alex changed course.

“Well, do you think your grandfather was kidnapped, or do you think he chased someone off and is somewhere on the island by himself, too tired to come back?” Alex said.

King Lemmy stood quietly for a moment, thinking.  Then he said, “Wait here a moment.”

He went out into the courtyard.  Alex and Harry watched him, but King Lemmy largely kept his back to them, so it was difficult to see what he was doing out there.  Alex was able to hear King Lemmy asking questions, however, and pacing a bit.  He seemed to be deep in thought.

After ten minutes or so, King Lemmy came back into the house.

“Harry,” King Lemmy said.  “Please stay here and clean up this glass.  Alex, come with me.”

Without another word, he led Alex back through the house, and out through the hole where the front door had been.  He led Alex back towards the port of Walli-Wo.  They reached a clearing, and stopped.  From where they were, they had a commanding view of the majority of Walli-Wo.  They were also, Alex recognized, in a place where they’d know it if they were being watched.

Quietly, King Lemmy said, “Alex, my great great grandfather was indeed kidnapped.  He did his best to defend himself and the house, but he was caught by surprise and overpowered.”

“Whoa.  That’s terrible!” Alex said.  “How do you know that, though?”

“I know it, because my ancestors saw it happen, and they told me what they saw,” King Lemmy said.

“They didn’t try to stop it?” Alex said.

“Of course, why do you think the house was such a mess?” King Lemmy said.

“Oh, of course,” Alex said.  He thought for a minute, and then said, “OK, what else can I do to help?”

King Lemmy put his hand on Alex’s shoulder, and said, “Alex, you are a good friend, and will one day be a great king.”

[Happy Thanksgiving, everybody!]

Chapter Twenty Three Is Good For You (And Good for Me)!

Thursday, June Sixteenth, Thirty minutes or so before the evening feast, Walli-Wo island time

Alex was back in his room.  At the moment, he was pacing around the room, trying to wrap his brain around the events of the day.  How had he gone from falling out of a small airplane while wearing a bunny suit to having faced down a possible naval attack (which might have been preferable to what they got instead, three boats full of tacky assholes) to meeting all of King Lemmy’s ancestors, to having King Lemmy tell him that he ought to marry his daughter and eventually become King of Walli-Wo himself.

And it wasn’t even dinner time yet.

Speaking of, Alex was still full from the last four meals he’d eaten that day.  He noticed the spread of snacks that had been left in his room for him had been refreshed at some point during the afternoon as well. 

Alex knew himself well enough to realize that agreeing to stay on Walli-Wo would be pretty much the worst possible thing he could do.  For one thing, he was pretty sure he was not made of king material.  For another thing, he was certain he would make a terrible husband.  And to top it all off, he was one hundred percent positive that spending the rest of his life on an island where he’d walked the entire island and met all of its inhabitants (entirely wonderful as they were) before lunch simply wouldn’t work.  He’d be bored to the point of doing some really stupid things before the first week had passed.

The challenge was, of course, how to tell King Lemmy that he wasn’t going to be able to marry his daughter.  He kind of suspected that King Lemmy wasn’t the sort to take no for an answer.

He and Bruce were going to need to be ready to split, as soon as possible.

Alex left his own room, and knocked on Bruce’s door.

Bruce opened the door.  He was looking pretty green.

“Hey Bruce, are you feeling OK?” Alex said.

“Do you remember those commercials where there’d be a pile of dirty dishes and some sad sack sitting there, saying I can’t believe I ate the whole thing, Mr. Minor?” Bruce said.

“Yeah, I remember those.  Was it for Pepto Bismol?” Alex said.

“I think it was Alka Seltzer,” Bruce said. “Anyway, at the moment I’m feeling like that sad sack.”

“I can relate, Bruce,” Alex said.  “I don’t know how we’re supposed to eat again tonight.”

Bruce seemed to turn a little more green.

“I’ve been trying not to think about it,” Bruce said.

“Got it,” Alex said.  “Sorry about the abrupt topic change, but what’s it going to take for us to get off of this island?”

Bruce looked at Alex like Alex had asked him to get up and help him move a piano, just after he’d fallen down a few flights of stairs.

“Are we in a bit of a rush, Mr. Minor?” Bruce said.

“Yes,” Alex said.  “We are.”

“Well, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but our new sailor friends weren’t kidding about getting away from the weather.  Though, King Lemmy was right about them having been safer staying out at sea rather than trying to outrun the weather and reach land.  The weather reports indicate that this is a nice big storm.  We aren’t going to be able to even think about flying in the Cessna for several days,” Bruce said.

“Can we fly in a different direction, away from the storm?” Alex said.

“Not without completely screwing ourselves over when it comes to flying home again.  There is a certain point at which we’d have no choice but to fly over some pretty unpleasant places in order to get back to the United States,” Bruce said.

“OK, but if we’re flying over them, what’s the problem?” Alex said.

“The problem is that some of those places like shooting at foreign planes, and in case you forgot, we’ll be in a flying gas can.  The other problem is that some places really don’t like it when foreign planes land there.  And, should things go to hell, there are some places where we just probably wouldn’t survive an unexpected landing, even if the landing itself was textbook perfect.  Are you following me?” Bruce said.

Alex grimaced, and said, “Shit.”

“Why are you in such a rush to leave, anyway?” Bruce said.  “We’ve got nice accommodations and overwhelmingly gracious hosts.  They seem to have taken a particular shine to you, as well.”

“Yeah,” Alex said. “That’s kind of the problem.  The thing King Lemmy wanted to talk to me about earlier?  He wants me to marry his daughter.”

Bruce started laughing.

“It’s not really that funny, Bruce,” Alex said.

He was startled then, when Harry said from just behind him, “It is time for the evening feast, gentlemen.  Please come with me.”

Alex and Bruce both gave each other an uncomfortable look, and followed behind Harry.

The evening air was cool, but still comfortable, as they walked to the great hall for the evening feast.  There was a small commotion nearby.  Before long, the crews of the three sailboats wandered over and joined Alex, Bruce and Harry on their way to the great hall.

“This island is just fantastic!” Tammy said.  “It has all the amenities anyone could wish for.  I can’t wait to tell everyone I know about it!”

Alex wasn’t sure, but he thought he saw Harry start to blanch at the mere suggestion.

King Lemmy and the rest of the islanders were already in the great hall, and a great round of applause and cheering went up when Alex and Bruce walked in to the room.  Their applause diminished somewhat, but still continued, as the sailors filed in behind them.

In the great hall, there was an enormous fire roaring in the fireplace, and various festive lights all around the room, including blinky Christmas lights and paper lanterns with candles in them.

King Lemmy spread his arms wide, and called out, “Welcome, honored guests and heroes!”

The islanders started to applaud and cheer again.

“Tonight we feast in honor of the courage of my good friends Alex and Bruce, and to celebrate the return of my great great grandfather to Walli-Wo!” King Lemmy continued, igniting a fresh round of applause.  Alex noticed the woman in the red dress was smiling widely at him as she applauded.

Jeez, I haven’t even talked to her yet, and I’m supposed to marry her?  What if she finds out she can’t stand me? Alex thought.  However, he smiled and looked around the room at the islanders, trying to convey his appreciation for their applause.

He and Bruce took their seats next to King Lemmy, and the sailors squeezed themselves in wherever there was space around the rest of the room.  Harry vanished, just as he had at the previous meals, appearing randomly to provide refills of anything that seemed to be getting low.

Enormous plates heaped with meat and bread were placed in front of Alex and Bruce.  The two of them forced identical smiles, and did their best to cram more food into themselves.  On the upside, they were also given glasses full of some kind of fantastic, sweet, fruity drink that had the very slightest taste of alcohol in it.

Although he wasn’t very hungry, Alex was powerfully thirsty, and he made short work of his first glass of whatever it was without realizing it.  Naturally, another drink was immediately provided for him.  Bruce was drinking somewhat slower than Alex, but had also started working on his second drink before long.

King Lemmy made pleasant conversation with Alex and Bruce about nothing much of importance.  That was a good thing, because Alex had just found himself with a second empty glass, which was promptly replaced with another full glass.  He had just picked up the fresh glass to take a sip when he realized that whatever these drinks were, they were potent.  He had started to feel a little bit of fuzziness in his head, and then his fingertips went a bit numb and then realized he was on a fast slide downhill into sloshy drunkenness.

One of his last coherent thoughts before the drink completely overtook him was, don’t go and get married tonight.

He glanced over at Bruce and realized that Bruce seemed to be just as tuned up as he was.

Bruce leaned over to Alex and said, directly into his ear, “Man, I hope we don’t both wake up in bunny suits tomorrow.”

Alex nodded his agreement.  The feast seemed to be getting pretty rowdy, with lots of yelling and laughing.  Every now and then, they’d hear one of the sailors exclaim something like, “Have you tasted this?  It’s amaaaaaaaaazing!”

Somewhere in the room, drumming started, and shortly after that, a group of men and women in what Alex assumed was traditional Wall-Wo garb came into the hall and began dancing.  Alex found himself transfixed by the swaying hips of the female dancers.  He caught himself, and hoped that he hadn’t spent long enough drunkenly ogling them that anyone else noticed.

Alex’s glance happened to fall on King Lemmy’s daughter, who was seated nearby.  She was looking directly at him, and giving him a sly smile.  She’d clearly caught him, and she was clearly amused with him.  He was pretty sure he saw a little spark of mischief in her eyes, as well.

You know, I could do worse than to marry her, Alex thought.

His train of thought on the matter was interrupted, however, by some unexpected movement he spotted out of the corner of his eye.  Harry had his hands cupped around his mouth, and was speaking directly into King Lemmy’s ear.

“WHAT?” King Lemmy roared.

The drumming and dancing came to a crashing halt, and silence fell over the room.

“What’s going on?  Is this part of the show?” One of the sailors (Alex seemed to remember her name was Laurel) said.

Enunciating as carefully as he could, Alex said, “What’s wrong, King Lemmy?”

King Lemmy’s mouth was set firmly, and he had closed his eyes, apparently composing himself.

“This is,” King Lemmy said.  “This is difficult for me to even believe.  Today, on the very day he was returned to Walli-Wo, on the very day he was reunited with the many generations of my family…”

King Lemmy paused and took a deep breath.

“What is it?” Alex asked, gently.  He’d barely known King Lemmy for a day, and didn’t think right now would be a good time to find out that he was prone to lashing out at whoever asked the question he didn’t want to answer.

“My great great grandfather has gone missing again.  Someone has kidnapped him!” King Lemmy said, and covered his face.

[If you're reading this on Thursday, Happy Thanksgiving!  And, thank you so much for reading this year's novel.  I'm so glad you're out there!  Knowing you're reading along keeps me going.]

Chapter Twenty Two Rocks and Rolls

Thursday, June Sixteenth, After the delayed Lunchtime Feast, but still before Tea Time, Walli-Wo island time

After lunch, King Lemmy had gestured to Alex and got up from the table.  Alex and Bruce got up with him, and followed him out of the great hall.  The three of them walked briskly towards whatever it was that King Lemmy wanted to show them.  Abruptly, King Lemmy stopped, and turned to Alex and Bruce.

“Mr. Evans, please forgive me, but I wish to speak with Mr. Minor alone,” King Lemmy said.

Bruce’s eyebrows shot up, and he stammered a bit before he said, “OK, no problem.  I’ll go work on plotting our course for our flight back home.”

“Oh, I hope you don’t have to leave Walli-Wo yet,” King Lemmy said.  “But thank you.”

Bruce wandered off in the direction of the house they were staying in.

Alex had remained silent through all of this, but he was even more curious about what King Lemmy wanted to show him, since Bruce was apparently not welcome to see it with him.

“Forgive me for being secretive,” King Lemmy said to Alex.  “Come this way, please.”

He led Alex to his own home, the one place on the island they hadn’t been yet.  It was, by all means, the nicest home on the island, but it wasn’t vastly more impressive than any of the other homes.  Alex wondered if they’d had the same architect design all of the buildings on Walli-Wo.  (They had.)

When they reached King Lemmy’s house, the front door was opened from inside.  King Lemmy and Alex entered, and Alex turned to see who had opened the door.  He was shocked to see it was Harry.

“How did you get here so quickly?” Alex said.

“I am a butler, Mr. Minor,” Harry said.

“Hmm,” Alex said.  “The other butler I knew was able to do all kinds of things without being noticed too.  Is there some kind of butler school where they teach you guys how to do impossible things?”

“Ah, Mr. Minor,” Harry said, “If I told you, I’d have to kill you.”

Alex laughed.

King Lemmy cleared his throat, and said, “Mr. Minor, come with me, please.”

“Oh, sorry, King Lemmy,” Alex said.  He followed behind as King Lemmy led the way through his house.

King Lemmy’s home was nicely furnished but, again, it wasn’t the opulent temple to King Lemmy’s ego that Alex had expected of a king.  There were a few photos of King Lemmy with other notable world leaders, but nothing was more ostentatious than the decorations in the other buildings on Walli-Wo.

Alex was impressed with King Lemmy’s restraint.

One thing King Lemmy’s house had that Alex hadn’t noticed anywhere else on the island was an inner courtyard. 

King Lemmy slid open a glass door, and led Alex out into the courtyard.  It was maybe forty feet square, maximum.  There were a few chairs gathered in a conversational grouping, and a variety of nicely displayed potted plants.

There was also a collection of statues like the one Alex had recovered.  Alex noticed the one that he’d brought to Walli-Wo was now displayed between two other statues of similar size and design, although it was clear that there was a significant age difference between them.

“Mr. Minor,” King Lemmy said, and gestured towards the statues, “I would like you to meet my ancestors.”

Then, gesturing towards Alex, he said to the statues, “I would like you to meet Mr. Minor, one of Walli-Wo’s great heroes, and my good friend.”

Alex was simultaneously very, very touched, and entirely baffled.  It was clear that King Lemmy expected Alex to say something, however.

Alex bowed slightly, and said, “It’s an honor to meet you,” to the statues.  He felt completely ridiculous, but it clearly pleased King Lemmy.

“You see, Mr. Minor, we create new homes in these statues for our elders when they pass, so that their spirits may return and keep watch over us,” King Lemmy said.

“So, the statue I returned…” Alex began,

“Is the home for my Great Great Grandfather,” King Lemmy said.

“And these other statues?” Alex said.

King Lemmy gestured reverently towards each statue, and told Alex who it belonged to.  “My father, my mother, my grandfather,” and so on through twenty generations.

“Wow,” Alex said. 

“One day,” King Lemmy said, “I shall join them and watch over my descendants and protect them as well.  But for now, it is my duty to watch over my ancestors as well as my own family.”

There was something very comforting about the idea, Alex had to admit to himself.

“That’s wonderful,” Alex said.  “I’ve wondered if my grandparents have been watching over me, but I can’t easily just go visit them.”

King Lemmy looked proud, and nodded in agreement.  Then he said, “I am sure that your grandparents are indeed watching over you, even now.  But perhaps you should build a home for them so they can visit you.”

Alex considered King Lemmy’s advice for a moment, but was distracted by a sudden uproar from inside King Lemmy’s house.

“Excuse me!  Excuse me!” Harry said, his voice getting louder and more annoyed with each repetition.

Alex and King Lemmy were both surprised when the sliding door opened, and the sailors all spilled into the courtyard along with them.

“Oh, wow!” Tammy said.  “This is just adorable!  Sugar Buns, isn’t this fantastic?”

“Yes, it’s very nice!  We should do something like this when we get back,” Jim said.

“Excuse me,” Harry said, using another secret skill of butlers: conveying the full magnitude of the faux pas just committed by whomever was being addressed with only the slightest change in inflection.  Alex had heard Harold do it a million times.

“Excuse me,” Harry said, again, “King Lemmy, I do apologize…”

King Lemmy interrupted him, “Harry, there is nothing to apologize for.  I see that our guests have lost their way.  Forgive me, but this is my private home, and is closed to our visitors.”

“Yeah but you let him in here,” Anne said, pointing at Alex.

King Lemmy didn’t seem to notice Anne’s rude behavior, and said simply, “I invited Mr. Minor to come in with me.”

Harry clapped his hands twice, and said, “This way, please.  Let me show you to the guest quarters we have here on Walli-Wo.  They are modest, but very clean and hospitable, I assure you.”

The sailors followed Harry out, chattering noisily among themselves again.

King Lemmy glanced at Alex, and rolled his eyes.  The two of them burst out in laughter simultaneously.

“How were you able to handle that so gracefully?” Alex asked King Lemmy once they had settled down again.

King Lemmy said, “Come and sit, I will tell you.”

He led Alex over to the chairs, and gestured for Alex to sit.  King Lemmy sat down in the chair next to Alex and leaned over towards him.

“When people behave like that, I reflect on how I have behaved myself in the past, and then I try to think of how I would want to be treated if I were in their place and it were me being a complete fucktard,” King Lemmy said, and dropped a wink.

It took a moment for what King Lemmy had just said to sink in for Alex.  Once it had, however, Alex doubled over laughing.  Shortly after, King Lemmy joined in laughing with him.

I like this guy, Alex thought.  He might be delusional, but at least he includes everybody equally in his delusions.

Which reminded Alex of something he’d been curious about.

“King Lemmy, may I ask you a question?” Alex said.

“You may ask me anything you like,” King Lemmy said.

“On your business card, it says you’re the first astronaut on Walli-Wo to walk on the moon,” Alex said.

“Yes,” King Lemmy said.

“Really?” Alex said.

“Of course,” King Lemmy said.  He paused a moment, and then said, “Ah, I see.  You are puzzled because I haven’t done it yet.  That is just a matter of details.  You see, first we have to finish building our rocket.  Then I will be the first astronaut on Walli-Wo to walk on the moon.”

Alex had to admit that there was a certain kind of crazy logic to that.

“How far has the rocket come along?” Alex said.

“Ah! We are getting to the final design phases,” King Lemmy said, clearly very excited to talk about a pet project.  “You recall meeting Sven?”

Alex was pretty sure Sven was the flat-pack furniture guy.  “Yes, I think so,” Alex said.

“Well, Sven is also Walli-Wo’s greatest rocket scientist, and my good friend,” King Lemmy said.  “He has a brilliant plan for a modular rocket built with standardized components.  I will show you the conceptual drawings later.”

“Cool, I can’t wait to see them,” Alex said.  He was starting to have a strange feeling.  It seemed like King Lemmy was really opening up to him.  Was King Lemmy was just always so open with everyone, or had he taken a special shine to Alex?

King Lemmy said, “Mr. Minor, there is something else I wanted to talk to you about.”

Ah ha, Alex thought. 

“I saw you looking at one of the young women in the great hall during lunch,” King Lemmy said.  “It looked to me like she had been admiring you as well.”

That’s not what I was expecting him to say, Alex thought. 

 “Really?” Alex said.

“Did you admire her as well?” King Lemmy said.

Red lights started flashing in Alex’s mind, and somewhere in there an air raid siren started, too.

That question has a right answer and a very, very wrong answer, Alex thought. And I have no idea which one is the right one.

 Saying no could be equivalent to insulting the women of Walli-Wo.  On the other hand, saying yes might be setting Alex up for a “keep your hands off of my woman” confrontation.

After a couple of seconds’ consideration, Alex decided that “yes,” was the correct answer.  If it turned out to be the wrong answer, he was fairly sure he could talk his way out of it.  Barring that, Bruce had an airplane they could use to get away, if needed.

“Well,” Alex said, thinking of the woman in the red dress, “yes.”

King Lemmy smiled, and said, “Good, I am glad you said that.”

Alex ventured a hopeful smile.

“She is my daughter, and I wish for you to marry her and become my heir,” King Lemmy said.

“Wait, what?” Alex said.

Chapter Twenty One is Always A Winner

Thursday, June Sixteenth, Still Just Before the Lunchtime Feast, Since the Lunchtime Feast Was Delayed, Walli-Wo island time

Alex and Bruce followed Harry and the other islanders to what they assumed was the sea port of Walli-Wo.  Alex still wasn’t sure that there was anything to be concerned about, but everyone else seemed pretty freaked out about the arrival of multiple ships.

Getting to the port didn’t take very long, since they walked directly there, and Walli-Wo just isn’t a very big island.  Alex was impressed with the port.  There was a large concrete pier and associated machinery (most of which Alex could only guess was for unloading boats.), as well as a small marina that had a few boats tied up.

“Wow, you guys have a marina?” Alex said to Harry. 

Harry said, “Yes, Mr. Minor.  It’s where we keep our boats.”

“Right, right,” Alex said.  “I just hadn’t realized…”

The other islanders had gathered behind King Lemmy, and all of them were looking out to sea.

Out in the water, was a sailboat.  It was hard to judge size based on the distance, but Alex guessed it couldn’t have been more than forty feet long, and might even be smaller than that.  Further out was another sailboat, and there was another one beyond that.

Some navy, Alex thought.  He kept that thought to himself, however.

Everyone stood and watched as the boats slowly approached.  Eventually the first boat furled it’s jib, and sailed even more slowly into one of the slips in the marina.  The other boats followed suit.

King Lemmy looked around and the other people surrounding him, and announced loudly, “Well, let’s go down to the marina and welcome our guests!”

As they got down closer to the marina, the crew of each of the boats could be seen tying up to the dock, and bustling around the decks getting things put away, as well as taking other things out.  Every now and then, one of them would glance up at the approaching islanders and say something to the others on their boat, after which all of them would take a moment to stop what they were doing and stare at the islanders before getting back to whatever it was they were doing.

Once they had reached the marina, the vast majority of the islanders stopped walking and just waited at the end of the pier where the newly arrived boats had tied up.  They seemed unsure of how to proceed.  King Lemmy, however, continued up on to the pier and started making his way down to where the new visitors were.  Harry hurried after King Lemmy, and after a moment’s consideration, Alex followed too.

Shortly after, Bruce came running up behind Alex, and whispered, “So, why are we following these two?”

“Because King Lemmy seems like a good guy, and I hate to think he only has Harry for back up at the moment,” Alex said.

“OK, so it is because we have a death wish.  Just wanted to clarify,” Bruce said.

“Oh, come on Bruce, they’re just sailors.  They’re just like RV people, only they’re usually also kind of soggy,” Alex said.

“That’s not as reassuring as you seem to think it is, Mr. Minor,” Bruce said.

“…Says the guy who flew a Cessna to some tiny island in the Pacific, hundreds of miles from anything else, to hand-deliver a statue.” Alex said.

Bruce didn’t say anything else.

King Lemmy had already reached the boats.  “Welcome to Walli-Wo!” he said, with his arms spread wide. 

“Thanks!” said a chipper woman wearing a huge, broad-brimmed hat and enormous sunglasses.  She was also wearing a t-shirt that Alex guessed had been white when it was new, and cargo shorts.  At the moment, she was the only person on deck aboard the sailing vessel “Titan Uranus.”

King Lemmy waited a moment, apparently expecting her to say more, before he said, “I am King Lemmy.  What brings you to our small island?”

“Oh, wow, island royalty!” the same woman said.  She called down the hatch into the boat’s cabin,   “Sugar Buns, come up here and meet King Lemmy!”

King Lemmy looked back at Harry, Alex and Bruce, and (almost imperceptibly) shrugged.

Sugar Buns came up out of the hatch.  He was wearing a baseball cap that was thoroughly salt-encrusted, and huge sunglasses of his own.

“Hi!” Sugar Buns said to King Lemmy.  He waved at Harry, Alex and Bruce.  “I’m Jim and this is Tammy.”

“Welcome to Walli-Wo, Jim and Tammy,” King Lemmy said. 

A man’s voice from the neighboring boat (“Fishing for Dollars”) said, “Did you say King Lemmy?”

“Yeah!  Can you believe it?” Tammy said.

Another head in a baseball cap and sunglasses popped out from behind some rigging. 

“Wow!  I haven’t met a King yet.  I’m Stan.  Laurel is somewhere below deck.  I think she’s powdering her nose,” Stan said.

Yet another voice chimed in from the third boat (“Bluebird IV”), “My ass.  She’s down there heaving her guts.  I’ve never met someone with worse sea legs than your wife, Stan.”

“Shut your stupid mouth and come meet King Lemmy, Anne,” Stan said.

Anne (presumably) poked her head out from the hatch of her boat, said, “hey!” to King Lemmy, and went back below deck.

“Wow…” Alex said.

“Kind of makes you wish it had been pirates, or a navy, doesn’t it?” Bruce said.

Harry stifled a laugh.

King Lemmy glanced at Harry, Alex and Bruce again, and then said, “Welcome, all.  Please, come ashore and join us for lunch as our guests!  And you must tell me, what brings you to Walli-Wo?  We are not accustomed to receiving many visitors.”

“Well, we’re trying to get out of the way of the storm, of course,” Tammy said.

“Storm?” Alex said.

“Yeah, there’s some nasty weather out there,” Bruce said.

Alex turned to him.  “Were you going to share this information with me any time soon?”

“Sure,” Bruce said.  “But there was no rush.  We’re not going anywhere until it’s cleared up anyway.”

Meanwhile, King Lemmy was still conversing with the crew of Titan Uranus.

“Storm?” King Lemmy said.

“Yeah, a real humdinger, it sounds like,” Tammy said.

“But…  Would your vessels be safer far out at sea rather than here so close to shore?” King Lemmy said.  He seemed baffled.

“They sure would be,” Anne chimed in.  “But a certain couple of ladies noticed your island here and insisted we ride out the weather here.”

“Just because you want to pretend you’re Davy Jones doesn’t mean the rest of us have to,” Tammy said, sharply.

Anne blew a raspberry at Tammy.

“Yeah,” Alex said to Bruce.  “Pirates would have been better company, I think.”

King Lemmy, the islanders, Alex and Bruce, and the sailors, all walked back to the great hall together, to begin the lunchtime feast.

Alex and Bruce were both still so stuffed from breakfast and second breakfast that they both felt a little ill just walking back in to the great hall again.  Plates were set in front of each of them, each piled high with Walli-Wo delicacies, but they were barely able to managed the few bites they each took to be polite.

Note to self, Alex thought, take it easy at meal times tomorrow.

The crews of the three sailboat all noisily chattered among themselves, ooh-ing and aah-ing at the great hall, the islanders, and recollecting the adventures they’d had together on the way there.

After some time, Jim turned to Alex and Bruce and said, “You fellas aren’t from around here either, are you?”

“No, we’re not,” Alex said.

“I figured.  So what’s the deal with your bunny slippers?” Jim said.

“They’re comfy,” Alex said.

“Are those approved footwear for a soldier such as yourself?” Jim said, with a hint of a smile.

“Nope, a soldier such as myself would find himself in a huge heap of shit if he were caught in these,” Alex said.  “Good thing for me, I’m not a soldier any more.”

Jim looked confused.  “So why are you wearing a dress uniform, then?” he said.

“It’s more formal than my bunny suit.  We are, after all, in the presence of a king,” Alex said.

“Huh?” Jim said.

Bruce said, “Mr. Minor is a bit eccentric.  Sometimes it’s best just to smile and nod.”

“Hey!” Alex said to Bruce.

Jim was already smiling and nodding at Alex.  He turned back to the rest of his group.

“Eccentric?” Alex said to Bruce.

“It shut him up, didn’t it?” Bruce said.  “If you want to get rid of someone, just convince them that they’re in the presence of someone else they don’t know how to handle.  They’ll go away.”

Alex was still stinging a bit from the “Excuse him, he’s eccentric,” but he had to admit that Bruce seemed to have a point.

He happened to take a look around the room then, and made eye contact with the woman in the red dress again.  She pointed down at his slippers and giggled, but her expression was kind and Alex started smiling despite himself.

“Mr. Minor,” King Lemmy said.

Alex snapped back out of his reverie, and turned to look at King Lemmy, who had clearly seen him making eyes at the woman in the red dress.  King Lemmy was barely containing a smile.

“Yes, King Lemmy?” Alex said.

“Do you know why the statue you have returned to me is so valuable to me?” King Lemmy said.

“Well, no, I guess not.  I figured it was sentimental value, perhaps,” Alex said, then caught himself and shut up before he said anything even more dumb.

King Lemmy laughed, and said, “Much more than sentimental value.  I didn’t think you understood when I thanked you for returning my great great grandfather.”

Alex did his best to maintain a poker face. 

He didn’t know it, but his poker face was about as hard to read as a large print edition of a Dick & Jane primer.

“As I thought,” King Lemmy said.  “You see, on Walli-Wo, we treasure the wisdom, courage, strength and kindness of our ancestors.  And what’s more, our ancestors watch over us, just as we will watch over our descendants after our own passing.”

“OK,” Alex said.  He still didn’t have any idea how that made the statue King Lemmy’s great great grandfather.

King Lemmy continued, “The reason that the statue you recovered for me is so valuable, is that it is the vessel my great great grandfather uses to watch over me and my family.  After we have eaten, come with me.  There is something I wish to show you.”

“OK, sounds good,” Alex said.  He’d thought they’d already seen all of Walli-Wo that morning.  What else could there be?