Chapter Twenty Five Just Makes Sense

Friday, June Seventeenth, a couple of hours before the breakfast feast, Walli-Wo island time

After King Lemmy and Alex had satisfied themselves that King Lemmy’s great great grandfather, or at least the stone statue which his spirit was currently calling home, was no longer in King Lemmy’s house, they’d decided to see if they could track him down.  After several fruitless hours, the two of them had agreed that it was too dark outside to see clearly, and that they would resume the search the following morning.

Alex had found his way back to his room, and collapsed into bed, still wearing his dress blues.  He had, at least, managed to kick off his bunny slippers.  He wondered, just before he fell asleep, how or why he’d been able to think so clearly right after King Lemmy had announced that his great great grandfather had been kidnapped.  After all, he’d been pretty tanked.

And what’s more, it seemed like the drunkenness was making up for lost time now.  The room seemed to spin a bit, and then he slept.

He woke up several hours later feeling… strangely cuddly.  In his grogginess, he couldn’t quite figure out why that was, and just enjoyed the feeling for a couple of minutes.  Slowly, he gained a bit more consciousness, and put together a piece of information here and a piece of information there.

It seemed like the sun was rising.  It was at least starting to get light outside.  Alex realized his bedroom window must face East.  He remembered he was on a little island called Walli-Wo.

And, he realized very suddenly, there was a naked woman asleep in bed with him.  She was cuddled up tightly against him with her head on his chest.

Oh shit, Alex thought.  Who is this, and how did she get in here?  Did I black out and bring someone back here?

As discretely as he could manage, Alex touched his stomach, and then his leg.  He was still wearing his dress blues.  Just in case, he checked his fly as well.  All was in order there.

“What the hell?” Alex said, then realized that he hadn’t meant to say that out loud.  Oops…

The woman sleeping on him stirred slightly, and sighed, then sat up next to him.

Alex quickly became aware of two things.  First, she was staggeringly beautiful.  And second, she was, without a doubt, King Lemmy’s daughter.

A third fact popped into Alex’s head.  Somehow, he still didn’t actually know her name.  He tried and tried to remember if King Lemmy had mentioned it, but he forgot what it was he was trying to remember when she lifted both arms over her head and stretched, arching her back slightly.

She looked down at him, and smiled.

“Hi,” Alex said.

“Good morning, Alex,” she said.

“How did you get in here?” Alex said.

“Through the door,” she said.  “I hope you don’t mind.”

“Well, no…  I mean, I don’t mind, but did I bring you back here last night?” Alex said.

“No, I just got a bit chilly and thought I’d come in here with you rather than stay in my own room,” she said.

Alex had no idea how to reply to that.  The best he could come up with was a bewildered, “Is your room in this house too?”

“Of course not, silly bunny man,” she said.

“Right, of course not,” Alex said.  He finally realized there was no way for him to gracefully continue this conversation.

“So,” Alex said. “Um, please forgive me, but I don’t think we’ve been introduced previously.”

She gave him a devilish smile, and said, “I know.  I avoided father while he was introducing you to everyone else on the island.”

Well, that explains it, Alex thought.  He wasn’t sure if he would have managed to remember her name after more than one hundred other introductions, anyway.

She continued, “I assumed you wouldn’t be able to remember my name if I was just one more introduction after every other person on Walli-Wo.  I thought it might be easier for you to recall my name if I introduced myself this way.”

She’s got a point, Alex thought.

“OK, well, hi,” Alex said.  “I’m Alex Minor. You can call me Alex.”

“I know, and I already did,” she said. “And my name is Princess Carol Anne Maria Felicia Autumn Lemmy.”

“I’m glad to meet you, Princess Carol Anne, uh…” Alex said.

Princess Carol Anne Maria Felicia Autumn Lemmy winked at him, and said, “You can just call me Lulu.  Everyone does.”

“OK, it’s nice to meet you Princess Lulu,” Alex said.

She giggled and Alex wondered once again if marrying her and becoming the king to her queen would be all that bad.

“Just Lulu,” she said.  “I’m naked in your bed, I don’t think we need to stand on formalities.”

Alex had no idea how to reply and said, “Um, no, I suppose not.”

“Can we make love now?” Lulu said.

“What?” Alex said.

“Father has already told me he blesses our future wedding.  And I’m feeling kind of eager, get out of this silly uniform” Lulu said.

“Whoa, whoa,” Alex said.  “Sorry, I need a second.”

“Oh, do you want to keep your uniform on while we make love?  I don’t mind,” Lulu said, and smiled.

“No, that’s not it.  I don’t think you understand,” Alex said.

Lulu raised an eyebrow, and said, “Oh.  Oh, I see.  Do you want to wear the bunny suit?  I’m OK with that too.  I like to play.”

“This is just not coming out right,” Alex said to himself.

“No?  Ooooh, you want me to wear the bunny suit.  OK, I like that too…” Lulu said.

Alex just stared at her for a second.  She was already starting to get out of bed, presumably to put the bunny suit on.

“No, wait please, uh, Lulu,” Alex said.

She turned back to him.  He was really having a hard time coming up with whatever it was he wanted to say.

“You see, the thing is, um,” Alex said.

Lulu looked puzzled for a moment, and then her face cleared.

“Oh, of course, how silly of me to not understand,” Lulu said with complete confidence.

“Really?” Alex said, considerably less confident.

“You prefer to be more traditional and wait until the wedding,” Lulu said.

“Um,” Alex said.

“It’s OK.  The anticipation will make the wait fun for both of us.  And after we get married, we can unleash our passion and have our way with each other,” Lulu said.  She had gestured wildly as she said “unleash” and “passion” and it took a second for Alex to get his breath back. 

“I’m not sure you,” Alex started to say, but was interrupted.

“Oh yes, I understand completely.  Such a romantic you are,” Lulu said.  She winked at him.

She curled back up under the covers with him.

How are things going so horribly right for me?  Alex wondered.

“You must still be sleepy,” Lulu said.  “You had a lot to drink, and a long night last night.”

“Mm, yes,” Alex said.  “Say, what do you call those drinks we had last night, by the way?”

“Drinks you had.  I stuck with fruit juice,” Lulu said.  “Anyway, they are a very traditional drink here on Walli-Wo.  The short name for them is Ki.  I don’t think you’ll remember the long name.  No one uses it, anyway.”

“Ki?” Alex said.

“Yes.  In English, I think they’d be called Fruit Flavored Pain Killer,” Lulu said.

“Sounds about right,” Alex said.

Lulu giggled.

Just then, they heard a doorknob rattle slightly, and Gertrude crept into the room with a tray covered with fruit and glasses of juice.  It also looked like she had a small pot of coffee or tea on the tray.  She walked past the bed, glanced over at Alex and Lulu and took a couple more steps before she stopped dead in her tracks and stared at the two of them.

Alex thought, oh shit.  I’m going to get lynched for spoiling the king’s daughter. And I didn’t even spoil her.

“Uh,” Gertrude said.

Lulu didn’t waste a second.

Quickly, but sweetly, she said, “Gertrude, what did you see in Alex’s bedroom this morning?”

“Um.  Nothing, Princess Lulu.  Mr. Minor asleep in his bed.  By himself,” Gertrude stammered.

“That’s right,” Lulu said.  “And who do you need to tell that you saw Alex asleep, by himself, in his own bed, as anyone would expect him to be?”

“Um, No one.  No one at all,” Gertrude said.

“And, Gertrude, what would happen if somehow the other islanders got the impression that Alex had not been alone in his bedroom this morning?” Princess Lulu said.

Gertrude looked nervous.

“Gertrude?” Lulu said.

“I don’t think I’d like that very much,” Gertrude said.

“I don’t think I’d like it very much either,” Lulu said.  “So it’s a good thing for us that Alex was quietly asleep, and alone, when you came in this morning, isn’t it?”

“Yes, Princess Lulu,” Gertrude said.

“Thank you, Gertrude.  Your discretion is one of your many excellent qualities, and why you’re one of my closest friends,” Lulu said.

“Thank you, Princess Lulu,” Gertrude said. 

She set down the tray she’d brought in, and hurried out of the room again, closing the door quietly behind her.

“Whoa,” Alex said.  He wasn’t sure what exactly he’d just seen, but he did know that now he felt kind of bad for Gertrude for walking in when she did.

“Silly girl,” Lulu said.  “Don’t worry, I know she’s actually very discrete.”

“OK, cool,” Alex said.  “So, what would happen to her if she mentioned you were in here with me, incidentally?”

Lulu smiled, and said, “She would have to work as the first level customer service rep on the phones for the bank, instead of doing the cushy job she has now.”

“Oof, that’s pretty rough,” Alex said.

“But not inhumane,” Lulu said. 

Alex thought that was debatable but said nothing.

Lulu looked out the window at the brightening morning sky.  She turned back to Alex, gave him a wicked grin, and said, “It looks like we still have at least an hour until it is time for the morning feast.  Let’s fool around a little, honey bunny.”

Uh oh, Alex thought.