Chapter Twenty Six Rocks All Night and Sleeps All Day

Friday, June Seventeenth, fifty minutes or so before the breakfast feast, Walli-Wo island time

Alex had his hands full trying to keep Princess Frisky out of his pants, while making sure she didn’t feel like he was rejecting her.  He had heard that scorned women can be, well, troublesome.  And based on the exchange he’d just seen between Lulu and Gertrude, Alex suspected it was for the best to keep Lulu happy while he was still on Walli-Wo.

It was a tricky situation.

It was especially difficult because Lulu had a quick solution to every roadblock Alex tried to put between her and the fly of his pants.

For example, he’d said, “What would your father say if he found us together in here?”

Lulu said, “He would say that we would be much more comfortable in my room.  Which, incidentally, we would be.  Shall we wander that way for a bit?”

He also tried, “It’s so early, shouldn’t we get some more sleep?”

Lulu’s reply was, “We can catch up on sleep later.”

Alex was quickly running out of excuses.  It didn’t help matters that he was doing his best to not have sex with a woman that he, in basically any other situation, would very much want to have sex with.  Only half of his brain, at best, was willing to help him out with this particular dilemma.  The other half had apparently decided that if Alex wanted to be that stupid, then he was on his own.

He was getting to the point where he was afraid he was going to have to be rude in order to get Lulu out of his bed when they heard the doorknob rattle again.  It was significantly louder this time, as though someone was trying urgently to get in to the room.  It was enough that Lulu rolled off of Alex with an irritated sigh, and covered herself up.

They heard Gertrude stage-whisper, “Princess Lulu, your father is coming!”

Alex wasn’t sure how his heart could drop into his feet when he was laying down (the physics of it made no sense), but all the same, that’s exactly where his heart went.

“Shit!” Lulu said.  She slid the rest of the way off of Alex’s bed, grabbed her dress from where she had apparently left it on the floor, and ran naked to the side door where Gertrude was waiting.  She turned, blew Alex a kiss and winked, and then left his room with Lulu.  Gertrude closed the door behind them, and he heard the two of them hurrying away from his door.  Alex had no idea where they would be able to go in order to avoid being spotted by King Lemmy if he was close to Alex’s bedroom.

Alex took a deep breath, and slowly exhaled. 

Thank god for small favors, he thought.  I’ve never been happier to be interrupted.

He got out of bed, and tried to quickly tidy himself up a bit.  He poured himself some coffee from the carafe that Gertrude had brought in earlier, and did his best to adopt a casual and relaxed demeanor as he waited for King Lemmy to arrive.

He waited for several anxious minutes and finally started to wonder where the heck King Lemmy was, exactly.  He hoped that King Lemmy hadn’t spotted Lulu leaving Alex’s room, and gone off to assemble a mob, or something along those lines.

It occurred to him that it was going to be time for breakfast soon.  Assuming that he wasn’t about to be lynched, he was going to need to actually look presentable.  So, Alex set about getting himself cleaned up.

King Lemmy never did come to his room.

Gertrude, however, did come to his room.  It was about ten minutes before the usual time for breakfast.

She saw that he was up, smiled, and said, “Good morning, Mr. Minor.”

“Good morning, Gertrude,” Alex said.

“Did you sleep well, Mr. Minor?” Gertrude said.

Alex wasn’t exactly sure what the right answer to that question was.  She had, after all, walked in on him and a very naked princess not too long ago.

“Reasonably well, thank you,” Alex said.

There was a moment’s silence between them, and then Alex said, “Where did King Lemmy get to?  I thought he was coming this way.”

Gertrude giggled, and said, “He wasn’t.  I hope you will forgive me, but I was listening at the door, and I thought you might need an excuse.”

Alex laughed, quietly, and said, “Nicely done, Gertrude.”

“Thank you, Mr. Minor,” Gertrude said.

“So, where exactly did you and Lulu go?” Alex said.

“There is a secret tunnel between here and King Lemmy’s house.  Princess Lulu also lives there, and also knows that tunnel.  I brought her down to the tunnel, the back way,” Gertrude said.

“But wouldn’t King Lemmy have been coming that way?” Alex said.

“Of course not,” Gertrude said.  “Secret tunnels don’t stay secret if you use them all the time.”

“Ah, of course,” Alex said.

Gertrude glanced at the window, and the brightening sky.

“It must be time for the morning feast,” she said.  “I expect Harry will be along to escort you and Mr. Evans to the great hall shortly.”

With that, Gertrude turned and left Alex’s bedroom again.  Mere moments later, there was a knock at the main door to his room.  Alex opened it, and found Harry waiting for him.

“Good morning, Mr. Minor,” Harry said. 

Bruce came out of his room, seconds later, looking a little worse for wear.

“Good morning, Mr. Evans,” Harry said.

“Morning,” Bruce said.

“Come with me, gentlemen,” Harry said.

Alex couldn’t put his finger on it, but Harry seemed a little more standoffish that he had previously. 

Maybe he’s hungover too, Alex thought.

“How are you feeling this morning?” Alex said to Bruce as they followed Harry to the great hall.

“Pretty rough, I had a rude awakening this morning,” Bruce said.  “I’m still shaking the water out of my ears.”

“Water?” Alex said.

“Yeah, someone threw a bucket of water on me while I was still asleep, then threw the bucket at me,” Bruce said.

“Ouch!  Jeez, that’s not cool.  Are you alright?” Alex said.

“Yeah.  At least the bucket missed me.  It just hit my nightstand and knocked over a lamp,” Bruce said.

“Are you a heavy sleeper, or something?  That seems pretty extreme,” Alex said.

“Nope.  Usually I wake up the second someone opens a door near me,” Bruce said.

“Oof,” Alex said.

They reached the great hall, and went inside.  The first thing Alex noticed was that the great hall was unusually quiet.  The second thing he noticed was that everyone was there already.  The third thing that he noticed was that “everyone” didn’t include the sailors.  He figured they were probably still asleep, and that was, frankly, a relief.

He and Bruce went to their previous seats near King Lemmy.  Alex was more than a little surprised when one of the islanders hissed at them as they walked past.

“Weren’t these folks all super friendly the day before?  Did we act up at the feast last night or something?” Alex said, quietly, to Bruce.

“They were, and no, I don’t think so, Mr. Minor.  You had more to drink than me, and you were fine while you were still in the hall,” Bruce said.

“OK, that’s what I thought,” Alex said.

King Lemmy acknowledged Alex and Bruce, and gestured for everyone to eat.  There was a slight increase in sound in the room, but there was no conversation to speak of.  It was more than a little unsettling.

“Has anything new come to light about your great great grandfather, King Lemmy?” Alex said.

“No, Alex.  We will begin the search anew this morning, after we’ve eaten,” King Lemmy said.

Alex happened to look across the table, and saw Lulu staring at him.  She gave him a coy smile, and then a salacious wink.  It was so quick that Alex had to convince himself that he really did see it. He smiled at her in return.

We need to get off this island before I end up neck deep in a heap of shit, Alex thought.  He did his best to remain pleasant and casual, but the urge to grab Bruce and run for the Cessna was getting stronger by the minute.

“It seems very quiet in here this morning,” Alex said. 

King Lemmy sighed, and said, “My people have come to believe that this trouble was brought about either by you or the sailors who also arrived shortly after you.”

“Oh,” Alex said.  “Um.  Is there anything we can do?”

“You are already doing it,” King Lemmy said.  “I have told my people that you and Bruce could not be responsible, and they have taken my word.  There is little I can say to convince them that the sailors are also innocent.  And, of course, how can I know?  I have been spending my time largely with you, and Bruce.”

“Thank you, King Lemmy,” Alex said.  He thought for a moment, and then said, “Where are the sailors, by the way?  They don’t seem to be here this morning.”

King Lemmy looked troubled, and said, “I visited them this morning, and asked to board their boats to see if my great great grandfather was in one of them.  They were not cooperative.  I then asked them if I could look in their quarters to see if he was in there, but again, they would not cooperate.”

Alex started to get a bad feeling in his gut, but he remained silent.

King Lemmy continued, “I told them that I did not think they had done anything wrong, but that my people were convinced they were responsible, and that for their own safety they should remain in their quarters until my great great grandfather is found, or until the weather has changed and they can safely sail immediately.”

“You don’t think they had anything to do with it?” Alex said.

“No,” King Lemmy said.

“I hope you understand that I don’t doubt you,” Alex said. He continued, “But how do you know?”

King Lemmy looked levelly at Alex.

“I know, Alex, because my great great great grandfather told me that the horrible loud visitors were not the ones who did it,” King Lemmy said.

Alex smiled and said, “The horrible loud visitors?”

King Lemmy smiled, ever so slightly, and said, “My great great great grandfather does not care much for the sailors.”