Sunday, November 20, 2016

Chapter Twenty is Very, Very Good

Thursday, June Sixteenth, Just Before the Lunchtime Feast, Walli-Wo island time

Alex and Bruce were both feeling pretty rough after second breakfast.  However, they’d both learned an important lesson about the fine art of feasting on Walli-Wo.

Gertrude had woken Alex about fifteen minutes before second breakfast was set to begin, so he could freshen himself up.  He took the opportunity to put on the dress blues he’d been given.  Since there were no shoes to match, he had to decide between going barefoot and wearing the bunny slippers.  After a moment’s consideration, he decided that the slippers were better than possibly picking up some kind of parasite he wasn’t sure existed by walking around barefoot. 

He emerged from his bedroom at almost the same moment Bruce came out of his own bedroom.

“Hey Bruce,” Alex said.  “Did Gertrude wake you up too?”

“Who is Gertrude, Mr. Minor?” Bruce said.  He glanced down at Alex’s slippers, but said nothing.

“You know, the friendly woman who is apparently here to help us out?” Alex said.

“Apparently, I have a friendly local of my own,” Bruce said.  “A guy named Dylan”

“Dylan?” Alex said. 

“That’s what he said,” Bruce said. “Seems like a nice guy, though being woken up by two loud hand claps and a war whoop was a surprise.”

“I know what you mean,” Alex said.  He decided it’d be best not to describe to Bruce how Gertrude had woken him up: by gently rubbing his back with one hand and ringing a softly chiming bell with the other hand.

Harry had been waiting for them just outside, and led them to the great hall again, where all of the islanders were gathering again.

“Do you take all of your meals together as a group?” Bruce asked Harry as they walked.

“Oh yes.  Well, of course, sometimes we have snacks on our own,” Harry said.  “But for the five main meals of the day we always gather.”

During second breakfast, Alex and Bruce were barely able to take a bite of everything on their plates before they both had to stop eating for fear of becoming ill.

Alex figured it would be poor form to blow chunks in front of King Lemmy.

But here is where they learned the important lesson.  King Lemmy was happy to see them enjoying themselves, but didn’t seem to mind that they hadn’t eaten much of what was on their plate.  And no one else had surprised them with more food, or even offered.

The key, apparently, was to not clean their plate.

King Lemmy had come to second breakfast after everyone had already been served.  As such, he hadn’t seen Alex’s slippers until after second breakfast was finished.  He’d told Alex and Bruce to wait outside the great hall for him.

The two of them stood awkwardly outside and smiled and nodded at all of the islanders as they passed by.  After some time, King Lemmy and Harry approached them.

King Lemmy had looked Alex up and down, and laughed uproariously. 

“Not only are you a great hero,” King Lemmy said, “But a natural comedian as well!  Thank you for bringing a measure of levity to Walli-Wo as well.”

Alex was dumbfounded and didn’t know what to say for a moment.  Eventually, his brain kicked in again and he said, “I’m glad I can help.”

“Come with me, I want to introduce you to my people,” King Lemmy said, and led them away from the great hall.

Alex felt very self-conscious as everyone on the island openly stared at them as they walked with King Lemmy.  At least everyone seemed friendly and merely curious.  He’d been in other places before where being stared at by everyone had been a very, very bad thing.

King Lemmy led them into another modern building nearby.  It had an ornate plaque over the front door which read, “Walli-Wo International Bank.”

The interior was every inch an upscale bank.  The floor was made of marble, and the walls were lined with dark wood.  There was a small counter with a sign over it that read “Teller.”  There was no one working at it at the moment, but then, there didn’t appear to be any customers in the bank at the moment either.  There were, however, at least eight heavy, dark wooden desks with bankers in sport coats and ties, and many of them were on the phone.

King Lemmy led them past the bankers (all of whom looked up and smiled as they walked by) and into an office in the back.  There was a woman working at another, even larger, wooden desk.  She looked up and smiled as they walked in.

King Lemmy said, “Please let me introduce you to Helga.  She is the greatest financial mind of Walli-Wo, and brilliant bank manager, and my good friend.”

“It’s great to meet you,” Alex said.

From there, King Lemmy introduced them to each of the bankers as they got off the phone.  All of them seemed thrilled to see King Lemmy and to meet Alex and Bruce.  Each of them were introduced as the greatest lead salesman, greatest customer service manager, greatest loan processor, and so on, of Walli-Wo, in addition to being King Lemmy’s good friends.

After meeting everyone in the bank, King Lemmy told Alex that their international banking business ensured that everyone on Walli-Wo wanted for nothing. 

“Who are your customers?” Alex had asked.

“Very rich people and corporations who don’t trust the Swiss,” King Lemmy said, and laughed his huge laugh.

He led them to a nearby house, and knocked on the door.  A woman opened the door, and smiled widely.

“Hello King Lemmy!” she said.

Alex marveled at the fact that no one, so far, seemed to be using fake customer service smiles.  They genuinely seemed happy to see King Lemmy, as well as him and Bruce. 

“Hello Samantha!” King Lemmy said. 

He turned to Alex and Bruce and said, “This is Samantha, she is the greatest pork roast chef and international shipping specialist of Walli-Wo, and my good friend!”

Alex was also impressed that King Lemmy appeared to genuinely mean everything he said about everyone he introduced to them.

“International shipping?” Alex said.

“And amazing pork roasts!” King Lemmy said.  “To die for.”

“What kind of stuff do you import and export?” Alex said.

“Mostly I handle the flat pack furniture shipments, but also the construction materials and other business equipment.  Things like that,” Samantha said.

“Flat pack furniture?  Do you manufacture furniture here?” Alex said, and glanced at Bruce.  He hadn’t noticed any flat pack furniture yet on Walli-Wo.

“Oh, no,” Samantha said.  “King Lemmy is too modest to tell you, but he orders flat pack furniture and assembles it, then ships it to those less fortunate around the world already assembled.  He heard that assembling furniture is difficult, and felt that people who are in need of furniture shouldn’t have to assemble it themselves as well.  Their lives are already difficult.”

King Lemmy laughed and waved his hands to dismiss it as nothing. 

“It is a small hobby of mine,” he said.

Alex thought that was an oddly sweet hobby.

“I’m sure you are the best assembler of flat pack furniture on Walli-Wo,” Alex said.

King Lemmy looked taken aback, and then laughed and said, “I am a very good assembler of flat pack furniture, but no, I shall introduce you shortly to Sven, the best assembler of flat pack furniture on Walli-Wo.  Sven is a very good friend of mine, you know…” 

He led Alex and Bruce around the island for the rest of the morning, introducing them to absolutely every person.  All of them were introduced fondly as the greatest whatever-they-did on Walli-Wo, and King Lemmy’s good friend.  Alex had no doubt that King Lemmy meant what he’d said, and found himself starting to really like King Lemmy.  Everyone who lived on the island seemed to adore King Lemmy too.  Alex had been expecting to see some quick, nervous smiles like he’d usually see when getting introduced to employees by a CEO.  Instead, everyone seemed content to simply hang out and chat with King Lemmy for as long as he cared to chat.

After they’d met everyone and toured the entire island, (which didn’t take long.  Walli-Wo was a very small island.) King Lemmy said, “Come with me back to my home.  We have much to discuss!”

As they walked Alex said to King Lemmy, “It seems like everyone here thinks very highly of you, King Lemmy.”

King Lemmy stopped walking, turned and smiled.  “And I think very highly of them also!  Would you like to know my secret to making so many friends?”

Alex was all ears.  “Yes, of course,” Alex said.

King Lemmy leaned in close, and whispered, “I know the name of everyone on the island, and as I have gotten to know them, I have learned what they are the best at.  Then I tell them the truth: that they are the best on Walli-Wo at what they are the best at, and that they are my good friend.  I love all of my people here on Walli-Wo.”

Alex had to admit, King Lemmy’s method seemed to work.  Telling people how good they are at what they’re good at and that they are your friend, who’d have thought?

Just then, a bell, somewhere across the island, started to ring.  King Lemmy and Harry both looked puzzled, and turned to look at where the bell was ringing.

“Is this expected?” King Lemmy asked Harry.

“No, King Lemmy,” Harry said.

Alex and Bruce exchanged a glance as well.

Bruce said, “What does that bell mean?”

Harry turned and said, “It is the bell that announces an incoming ship.”

“Don’t you get a lot of ships?” Alex said, thinking of Samantha the shipping specialist.

“No, Mr. Minor,” Harry said.  “Only one ship arrives each month, and it had already come and gone for this month.”

The bell started ringing again.

King Lemmy and Harry gave each other an uneasy look, and King Lemmy strode powerfully away, toward the sound of the bell, without another word, leaving Alex and Bruce with Harry.

“What’s going on?” Alex said.  “Why did King Lemmy hurry off like that?  They’re just boats, right?”

The bell started to ring some more.

Harry looked gravely at Alex and said, “We are a very small island, and we rarely see more than one ship per month.  We never see several ships on the same day.”

“Well, so it’s unusual, but why are you concerned?” Alex said.

Harry took a deep breath, and closed his eyes for a moment.  When he’d collected himself, he said, “We are a small, rich, island.  And another way of describing several ships is to call it a fleet.  Or, Mr. Minor, you could call it a navy.”

Alex noticed the other islanders seemed to be hurrying into buildings, while others were hustling to where ever it was King Lemmy had run off to.  Alex guessed it was the port of Walli-Wo.


“Are you saying Walli-Wo is being attacked?” Alex said.

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